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7 Ways To Fix A Broken Relationship

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When your relationship is suffering, you have a choice; put it out of its’ misery or nurse it back to health. If the love that you share is worth saving, act quickly to reverse and repair the damage that’s already been done. 

7 WAYS TO FIX A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP

Seek first to understand, then be understood. Couples therapist Dr. Robert Solley says that ‘The listener has to hold back their own emotional reactions and interpretations, and really try to get the essence of what the speaker is putting out.’

Active listening is more than hearing. Your body language should show that you are open to understanding your partner and you shouldn’t be waiting for your turn to speak. Here are some ways to show that you are actively listening:

* Face your partner and turn your body toward them

* Make and keep eye contact

* Uncross your arms and nod when appropriate

* Mute the TV and your cell phone

* Summarize your partner’s words to check that you understood them

* Ask questions to clarify their meaning

2. COMPROMISE.

It takes two to tango and when you’re in a relationship, it’s a partnership. You can’t have it your way all of the time and neither can your partner. You have to find a common ground that works for both of you.

Finding a win-win for both of you is ideal, but if that’s not possible, be willing to give ground. Rather than digging in your heels and fighting, first identify the level of importance of this particular issue.

Are we arguing about toast vs. English muffins for breakfast or is it something larger like renting vs. buying a house? Is it something minor that you can live with? Then let your spouse have their way this time. When it’s an important part of your life like your values, safety, or sanity, don’t compromise.

3. EXPRESS YOURSELF.

Are you able to communicate your feelings in a way that makes your partner respond the way that you want them to? If you aren’t getting the response that you’d like, try a different tactic. Try saying ‘I have something to tell you that’s important to me. Is it a good time to talk?’ The reply from your partner will let you know how receptive your partner is likely to be.

Rather than starting with what’s wrong, which can out your partner on the defensive, describe your feelings. Try ‘When you (state the specific behavior that you want to change), I feel (state the corresponding emotion).’ This language is less likely to be seen as accusatory.

Psychologist Dr. Terri Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great, suggests another tactic to express your feelings without pointing fingers. When you say, ‘You do X in situation Y, I feel Z,’ with specific behaviors for X, Y and Z, you avoid judging either your response or your spouse’s behavior.

4. SOFTEN YOUR HEART.

Turning away from your partner when things go bad is easy to do; what’s harder is to turn toward them. Responding with kindness is always better than responding with cruelty.

Think about stories of kindness that have melted your heart in the past. That is the warm-hearted feeling that you’re trying to achieve when you think about your partner. You want to relate to their struggles, feel that there’s hope and take action to be a better partner to them.

Empathy is key to being able to relate to the other person’s perspective. If your partner is angry, think about a time that you were really angry. How would you want someone to treat you if you felt that way? Start by telling your partner that you can understand how they feel and then that you want to help them to feel less angry.

5. ASSUME THE BEST.

Unless your relationship is beyond fixing due to physical abuse or addiction, assume that your partner has good intentions, even if they say something hurtful. Instead of assuming that they intended to hurt you, assume that they need to express painful feelings.

By assuming positive intent, you can ask questions to uncover the reason for the hurtful comment. Your partner may be in pain themselves, and lashing out in kind is the way they expressed their pain to your. Probe your partner to understand their feelings.

6. EMBRACE CHANGE.

Doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. It’s a cliche, but when things are broken in your relationship, keeping everything the same won’t fix it.

Change can be scary, so prepare yourself emotionally for this transition by recalling a time that you had to learn something new in the past. Remember that you came out of that experience a wiser and better person.

7. BE PERSISTENT.

If at first you don’t succeed, don’t give up! If you’ve resolved to make it work, keep trying. Seek the help of a professional if it doesn’t seem that you can fix the broken relationship on your own.

As only half of your relationship, you are not the only person responsible for its’ health. In spite of your best efforts, your partner may need to change their bad relationship habits to help strengthen your bond. If you’ve done your part by working to fix what was broken but they aren’t willing to, you may be resigned to call it quits.

source:  www.powerofpositivity.com

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5 Signs You’re In Love With the Wrong Person

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Many people know what it takes to maintain balanced, happy relationships in life: love, trust, compassion, compromise, laughter, a deep connection, and respect, to name a few. However, a lot of us don’t even recognize if we’re in love with the wrong person…

To cultivate supportive, healthy relationships in life, you have to find out what you don’t want, and sometimes that involves being in the wrong relationship. Here’s how to tell:

5 TELLING SIGNS YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH THE WRONG PERSON

1. YOU AREN’T COMFORTABLE SPENDING TIME APART

In the beginning of a relationship, you naturally want to spend as much time with the person as you can since everything about it feels fresh and new, and you absolutely love the person you’re with. Of course, you still feel the same about your guy or girl after a few months, but you might crave some time away from them occasionally to continue your own personal growth.

While your partner should be a huge part of your life, it’s important to make sure they’re not the only part of your life. Research shows that once a relationship becomes stagnant, people start to forget why they’re in the relationship to begin with, and look for a way out so they can feel that initial spark again with someone new. To avoid having this happen, hanging out with friends or spending time alone is important in keeping the spark alive in the relationship and being able to grow evenly during time spent apart.

If this time apart doesn’t feel comfortable, there is an underlying trust issue, and since trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, you may want to reassess your relationship.

2. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND EXACTLY HOW TO MAKE THE OTHER FEEL TRULY LOVED.

We all have different preferences when it comes to receiving love. In the wrong relationship, one or both of the partners fail to understand the others needs. If you want to care for them in the best way possible, but don’t know how, remember that something as small as a cup of coffee in the morning or a warm dinner at night can be just the right touch to fixing a wronged relationship. This is effectively done through the right communication. You don’t expect the other to read your mind. You learn, get to know your partner and act in a way that makes them fall in love with you even more.

3. LIVING IN THE PAST.

Focusing on the wrongdoings and mistakes that people in your past made will only make you feel negative about your current relationship. Let go and leave those relationships where they belong – fixating on prior pain will only cause more to appear…what you resist persists.

4. SOMEONE IS WITHHOLDING THE TRUTH.

When asked about the most important quality a person can possess, most people quickly say “trust.” If two people don’t have that, the foundation of the relationship will quickly crumble once the truth finally comes to the surface. Healthy love requires two people committed to sharing their darkest secrets and most authentic self no matter what.

5. YOU CAN’T HANDLE PROBLEMS EFFECTIVELY.

In both relationships and life, problems inevitably happen, and knowing how to deal with them and figure out solutions together can strengthen your relationship – and keep it running smoothly. If you or your partner are having a hard time tackling problems as a team and talking things through to solve the problem, it may mean that there’s a happier and longer-lasting relationship elsewhere.

A couple married for 75 years said that the key to how to make love work long-term is communication, even if that means arguing in order to solve a problem. Whatever your style of problem-solving may be, if you are your partner can resolve things quickly and easily without too much conflict, chances are you have the ability to make things work in the future. According to Dr. Preston Ni, “Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let [them] go.”

If both you and your partner have similar problem-solving strategies, you can get through the trials in life just as well as the triumphs. Don’t give up right away, but give it some time to see if you can learn to deal with problems as a team.

source:  www.powerofpositivity.com

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NEXT STORY DOCTORS EXPLAIN HOW HIKING ACTUALLY CHANGES OUR BRAINS

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While it may seem obvious that a good hike through a forest or up a mountain can cleanse your mind, body, and soul, science is now discovering that hiking can actually change your brain… for the better!

While it may seem obvious that a good hike through a forest or up a mountain can cleanse your mind, body, and soul, science is now discovering that hiking can actually change your brain… for the better!

Hiking In Nature Can Stop Negative, Obsessive Thoughts

Aside from the almost instant feeling of calm and contentment that accompanies time outdoors, hiking in nature can reduce rumination. Many of us often find ourselves consumed by negative thoughts, which takes us out of the enjoyment of the moment at best and leads us down a path to depression and anxiety at worst. But a recent study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that spending time in nature decreases these obsessive, negative thoughts by a significant margin.

To conduct this study, researchers compared the reported rumination of participants who hiked through either an urban or a natural environment. They found those who walked for 90 minutes in a natural environment reported lower levels of rumination and they also had reduced neural activity in the subgenual prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain related to mental illness. Those who walked through the urban environment, however, did not report decreased rumination.

The researchers noted that increased urbanization closely correlates with increased instances of depression and other mental illness. Taking the time to regularly remove ourselves from urban settings and spend more time in nature can greatly benefit our psychological (and physical) well-being.

Hiking While Disconnected From Technology Boosts Creative Problem Solving

A study conducted by psychologists Ruth Ann Atchley and David L. Strayer found that creative problem solving can be drastically improved by both disconnecting from technology and reconnecting with nature. Participants in this study went backpacking through nature for about 4 days, during which time they were not allowed to use any technology whatsoever. They were asked to perform tasks which required creative thinking and complex problem solving, and researchers found that performance on problem solving tasks improved by 50% for those who took part in this tech-free hiking excursion.

The researchers of this study noted that both technology and urban noise are incredibly disruptive, constantly demanding our attention and preventing us from focusing, all of which can be taxing to our cognitive functions. A nice long hike, sans technology, can reduce mental fatigue, soothe the mind, and boost creative thinking.

Hiking Outdoors Can Improve ADHD In Children

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is becoming more and more common among children. Children who have ADHD have a difficult time with impulse control and staying focused, they get distracted easily, and exhibit excessive hyperactivity.

While raising children who have ADHD can be difficult for parents, the usual solution — opting for prescription medication — may be doing more harm than good, particularly when natural solutions can work just as well. A study conducted by Frances E Kup, PhD, and Andrea Faber Taylor, PhD, found that exposing children with ADHD to “green outdoor activities” reduces symptoms significantly. The results of this study suggest nature exposure can benefit anyone who has a difficult time paying attention and/or exhibits impulsive behavior.

Hiking In Nature Is Great Exercise And Therefore Boosts Brainpower

We already know that exercising is fantastic for our overall well-being. Hiking is an excellent way to burn between 400 – 700 calories per hour, depending on your size and the hike difficulty, and it is easier on the joints than other activities like running. It has also been proven that people who exercise outside are more likely to keep at it and stick to their programs, making hiking an excellent choice for those wishing to become more active on a regular basis.

Researchers from the University of British Columbia found that aerobic exercise increases hippocampal volume — the part of the brain associated with spatial and episodic memory — in women over the age of 70. Such exercise not only improves memory loss, but helps prevent it as well. Researchers also found that it can also reduce stress and anxiety, boost self esteem, and release endorphins. Many people take medication to solve each and every one of these issues, but the solution to these ills may be a lot simpler than you think!

How Can You Begin To Start Hiking?

Luckily, hiking is one of the easiest and least expensive sports to get involved in, and it can have great benefits for the whole family, including grandma! Start out small and test your abilities. Do what works for you — if that means just walking through trails in a park, that’s fine. Any exercise outdoors is better than none. You can easily find maps of trails around your home online, and there are plenty of smartphone apps to map them out, too. I recommend turning off your signal and your phone while hiking though, so you can reap the most benefits of the hike (though it may be wise to at least carry it with you in case of emergency).

Make sure you have some good sturdy hiking shoes, a hat, and a water bottle, and be sure to layer your clothing so you can take things on or off easily as you warm up and cool down. You may want to consider using trekking poles as well, which can increase your speed and take some of the pressure off your knees. Now, can you just do one thing for me?

Go take a hike!

Much Love!

source:  www.collective-evolution.com

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They Rescued Two Puppies From The Street. What They Do Seconds Later? Tears.

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Sometimes we all just need a hug! Look at this picture! It shows one dog hugging another dog! How adorable. The two dogs had been living on the streets. They were rescued by Buddhist nuns from an undisclosed temple.

puppies

After being rescued and brought into the temple, they noticed that the dogs were inseparable. The larger dog would hug the smaller dog as they sat tucked into a corner.

The dogs may have been feeling a little uneasy about their new surroundings. Many people, after seeing this picture worried about the dogs living on the streets – would they be able to survive?

puppies

But at the same time, they are really not used to being around people either. Happily, a short time after the picture was circulated on social media, an unnamed veterinarian adopted them both! The problem has been solved, they are off the streets for good and in a loving home!

puppies

Share away, people!

source:  www.heroviral.com

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This Is How To Reset Your Body Clock & Get Some Sleep!

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You probably know that sleep is important for your health, but are you really getting enough? According to the National Sleep Foundation, adults ages 18-64 years old need 7-9 hours of sleep per night. But with more Americans working overtime, having long commute times and constantly glaring at their phone screens, it’s no surprise that many American adults aren’t reaching that number.

Without an adequate amount of sleep, the body begins to suffer. Short-term problems of not getting enough sleep include impaired memory, stress and mood swings, lack of concentration and constant fatigue. Over time, sleep deprivation can affect every part of your body. It puts you at risk for serious conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart attack, heart failure and stroke.

If you aren’t getting enough sleep, there’s something simple that could help. A recent study found that spending a few days in the great outdoors could be just what you need to reset your internal clock and finally get some sleep.

The Study

The two-part study was published in Current Biology. Researchers took one group of people to Colorado’s Eagle’s Nest Wilderness for a weekend. Another group of people stayed home. The group that spent time in nature wasn’t permitted to use any source of unnatural light. They could only use the campfire and the sun. Each participant wore a watch that measured the levels of light they received. After two days, researchers conducted a series of tests.

Kenneth Write, an integrative physiology professor at the University of Colorado, Boulder was the lead author on the study. He said, “These studies suggest that our internal clock responds strongly and quite rapidly to the natural light-dark cycle.”

He continued, “Living in our modern environments can significantly delay our circadian timing and late circadian timing is associated with many health consequences. But as little as a weekend camping trip can reset it.”

Resetting Your Circadian Timing

The research shows that your pattern of sleep depends on the hormone melatonin. Melatonin physiologically prepares the body for sleep by coordinating the circadian rhythm. The release of melatonin is partially controlled by the light in your environment.

After the participants spent a summer weekend in nature, researchers found that their melatonin levels had gone up. For the second part of the study, researchers conducted the same experiment in the winter. These participants also saw a rise in melatonin. The natural sun light helped to increase melatonin levels in the body during both seasons, improving circadian rhythm.

If your circadian rhythm is disturbed, trouble sleeping isn’t the only problem you’ll experience. A disturbed circadian rhythm is associated with numerous health problems, including mood disorders, diabetes, obesity and poor cognitive performance.

While camping on a regular basis might not be realistic for you, researchers say that getting more natural bright light during the day can help with sleep problems. Turning off your cell phone and laptop an hour or two before bed time can also work wonders for your sleep quality!

Sources: www.davidwolfe.com

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Study Confirms Coffee Can Make You Happy

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Caffeine can significantly improve your mood and boost your energy, according to a study conducted by the Harvard School of Public Health. This study found a link between caffeine and decreased suicidal attempt rate. Therefore, it is recommended consuming two to four cups of coffee on daily basis. Also, you can consume tea or chocolate which contains caffeine as at least two cups of coffee. According to researchers, this can lower the suicidal rate up to 50%

How the Research Was Performed

Harvard Study of Public Health conducted a study which consisted of three pre-existing studies with 40,000 men and more than 150,000 women. The results have shown that caffeine has mild anti-depressive and stimulating effects on human body.

 

How Does Coffee Do This

These results were published in the World Journal of Biological Psychology. However, it is not clearly explained how coffee can lower the risk of suicidal attempts. Anyway, many experts claim that coffee has the ability to improve people`s mood. Coffee acts similarly as many other drugs, including marijuana.

Additionally, coffee stimulates the secretion of neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin (the happy hormone), dopamine, and noradrenaline.

 

Some Things to Note

Besides the caffeine`s positive effects, it is not recommended for people who suffer from depression. It can alleviate the symptoms but cannot cure it. So, coffee overconsumption can eve cause harm. Also, it can lead to insomnia and can make you anxious.

source:  www.healthiswealthofheart.com

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Man Writes Letter To NASA About His Breakthrough Discovery And Their Reply Is Amazing.

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This man thinks he’s changed rocket science as we know it. According to NASA, however, he maaaay have to go back to the drawing board.

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TRUMP IN A WAR WITH THE PHARMACEUTICAL LOBBY: “IMMEDIATELY TO MAKE AVAILABLE THE MEDICATIONS YOU’RE HIDING WHICH TREAT CANCER AND OTHER INCURABLE DISEASES…

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President Trump promised millions of US citizens to put an end to the fatal diseases by the company will force the pharmaceutical industry to make medicines available to the public, as soon as possible.

Donald Trump said executives of some of the largest US pharmaceutical companies it is time to release “hidden drugs” that will put an end to many incurable diseases.

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This Girl Explains Why The American Grading System Is So Messed Up. And She Totally Nails It.

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Have you ever worked super hard, only to get a much lower grade than you anticipated? Well, this American student has something to say about it. And she makes a great point.

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9 Psychology Tricks You Could Pull On Your Friends

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Could all of these really work?

Psychology “tricks” are all around us.

They are used in advertisements, in magic, in sports, in social interactions and even at work. People use the social skills and the perceptions we all hold to help influence their environment in a way that is beneficial to themselves or someone else.

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